Return to the Void?

Here we go again... Me and myself playing ping pong with images. Making something that some of you can consider art, and others a joke. It's probably something between both. Fuck it. I just want to free my mind of all voices and absurd thoughts. And make some sense of it. Are you looking for the same? New experiences are great as long as they give us a different perspective of what we already know. The unknown can be as scary as it is beautiful and enjoyable. The most common enemy of the joy and the one we have to live with more is the routine. This system is so corrupt as our minds. I am going crazy year by year. Pretending I am not because of social acceptance. Don't we all do the same? Fuck it I am so ungrateful sometimes. But thank you god. I am blessed. I know it for a fact. You know it. Fuck it I am so a teenager but I am already 27 years old. FUck it. I am just being honest. Fuck it I will be ok. I know that but somehow I am still feeling incomplete and Insecure, sometimes... It's natural, you are human. You have feelings. I am not saying anything new. And I like having feelings. They allow me to express myself. What I do with images is becoming more and more important to me, specially these days. I am getting obsessed with my thoughts again. Mind is overloaded. Trying to get more conscious about itself. About all the trauma. The pain. The supressed emotions and the desires and fears of itself. But also of all the humanity. Where are we going? 

Of course I know myself. Of course I know how to love. I love you and I love everything I've been doing last years. I just have so many worries that I am tired of having rn. And at the same time it seems that I don't know almost anything about life in general terms. Even after all of that experiences and overthinking. I am tired of money. I hate money. But I do suppose to love it. Sometimes I just want to sleep and avoid everything because I am so fucking scared of tomorrow. But I am fine. It always pass. I am not unhappy or depressed. Not right now. I will be better but also worst. And I know better and worst are just a way of perception based in comparison. I want to stop this rollercoaester but I think for a fact right now that it must be impossible. I know big things are going to happen to me and that will make me feel so good and so bad at the same or different times. What is the destiny but a tale we write for us and eventually comes true? Also I kind of like this madness and rollercoaster way of living.

I've been doing a lot of research, writing and working the more I can on my art. Mostly finding to connect concepts and a way to explain it in words. Because I feel now it's the time for it. Also I am living the best life I can imagine rn. I am okay but also I am an overthinker, so when I start thinking everything becomes a chaos. A chaos I love and understand eventually. There always feels like is a lot to do. But there is always feels that there is nothing to do too. Everything is so fast and random sometimes. I just don't know what is the future of my artwork, the most important thing in my life besides of my family and loved ones. Besides of my internet crowd. I know sometimes we all can feel tired (body and soul)  of wandering the uncertain corridors of this life. Or it is just me? Maybe. But also maybe this desease is something more bigger than all of us. And I think it will be always our most important work of all, to confront it and keep searching for a cure. A cure for the human disease we are living with right now. A cure that maybe doesn't exists yeah, but as silly as it sounds, it still makes sense to seek for our sake and that of future generations.

So it's your choice. DO you want to keep living today? Or you will prefer returning to the void of nothingness? There is not wrong answer. Just perspectives.